Keeping me grounded.

Hij was woedend. Tallstar had hen verraden. Hij was niet eens zozeer boos op Tallstar, zoals de meeste katten op dit moment waren, hij was boos op zichzelf. De kater had hem totaal de tuin om geleid. Hij had het totaal niet zien aankomen. Hij was boos op zichzelf, dat hij het niet kon zien in zijn ogen, dat hij de clan zou verlaten. De kater was altijd al apart geweest en goed kon hij sowieso al niet om gaan met de kater want ja.. ze waren gewoon heel erg anders opgegroeid. Daar zou hij het maar op gaan gooien. Ze waren anders opgevoed, Tallstar was veel vrijer opgevoed dan dat hij was. Zijn ogen waren vernauwd terwijl hij over het territorium heen keek. Als hij wist waarom de kater was vertrokken dan kon hij het misschien nog wel accepteren maar dit? Dit was laf. Laffer dan laf. Hij haatte het. Verraad. Zijn nagels masseerden de grond onder hem. Hij was niet vaak zo, maar hij had zijn leider vertrouwd. En het was terug in zijn gezicht gegooid. Hij bleef een vaderskind. Een met veel woede vanbinnen, dat was nu wel weer goed te zien. Hij had niet gereageerd in het kamp, ondanks dat veel katten dat wel hadden gedaan. Hij was niet degene die voor een heel kamp zijn mening uitte. Sowieso niet snel zijn mening uitte.

Tallstar had left the clan with only giving notice to a couple of cats. He was absolutely gutted. Tallstar had always been the 'fun' leader, one who couldn't be taken seriously and yet again-- he had proven just that. He was pissed off, done with his antics. He was so occupied with being angry, that he didn't even notice Acorndust approaching him until he came into view. The older tom-cat showed him a weak smile, he couldn't even imagine how he must've been feeling. It must be tough on him, especially when almost no-one in the clan was taking his side. "Cormorantwing," the tom-cat greeted him and Cor nodded back to greet his deputy/leader/whatever he was right now. "Acorndust." he rasped to the older tom, before swallowing around the knot in his throat. "How ya been holdin' up?" he asked, even though his stormy blue eyes were still showing anger. But it wasn't directed at Acorndust, far from it. Tallstar was lucky that he didn't bump into him, because he would've grabbed him at his scruff right there and then. And he wouldn't have been sorry about it either.

Tallstar was the biggest traitor he had ever known in his life. And that said a lot, because he had seen loads of traitors in his life. Traitors in his family. That's why he was even madder, madder that he couldn't see that Tallstar was yet another traitor. Not that, almost everyone in the high ranks within their clan seemed to be occupied with something else than their rank. He didn't bother with them though, he was just a warrior. A warrior who didn't dare to speak up. For one reason only, though, Acorndust. He trusted the tom-cat. He had good ideas and they were on the same page for most of the time. He would follow Acorndust to his death if he had to, because the tom-cat was a good Deputy. And would be a good leader now that Tallstar had left the clan. "I'm keeping up, but barely." Acorn said, to which he slowly nodded. It must be so tough for the tom-cat to lead the clan while it was disturbed like this. He knew the tom-cat had to be strong for the clan, tried to show no weakness even though he had a huge burden on his shoulders out of nowhere. No explanation, nothing. He didn't know why the tom-cat chose him to talk about his feelings, he wasn't the best cat to talk to about feelings, but maybe it was due to the fact that he wasn't a cat to just tell anybody about it. He was good at keeping secrets, been that his whole life. "If only he would have told me." He swallowed thickly and nodded. Yeah, if only the tom-cat would've known what kind of burden he was about to carry on his shoulders. "He's a foxdun'." he softly growled to the deputy, because he was honestly. Leaving like this? Leaving his kitten behind as well? What the hell man? "He's a freakin' idiot. He better be gone. No words would describe what I'd do to him." he said with anger in his eyes. He just couldn't handle things like that, he had been loyal to the tom-cat in the leading position. Even tried to accommodate for the tom when he met him, yet this was how the tom had responded.

He couldn't imagine the worships this tom-cat had to go through. Not only is their leader gone, some of the cats within the clan didn't trust Acorndust. He had heard multiple cats confess their annoyance about the tom. He couldn't imagine another cat being in the lead now, but Acorndust. The tom had never done anything wrong for the clan. Yes, he had brought bodies in but never, never, was he the cat who killed the cat. He didn't trust cats who thought their deputy would even do that, even if their leader turned out to be a traitor. "He's an idiot, that's for sure." The tom told him, to which he just breathed out very hard through his nose. He was annoyed with their leader, how could he do this to all of them? "I can't say what I would do either when I see him, probably at least hit him in the head again." Like that would help. He would personally take away the last of his lives, so that Acorndust would still be accepted by StarClan, so this tom cat who deserved to be in the lead would still be accepted by StarClan to receive his nine lives. Even if that meant that he was going to the Dark Forest. He would gladly accept that for Acorndust. Tallstar deserved what was coming to him. The tom couldn't just talk with them or anything about it, explain what was going to happen, no, he just had to leave after talking to a couple of other cats. "He's gonna regret leavin' y'all." He growled to the older tom-cat, his stormy blue eyes almost lit on fire. It was hard to make him this angry, but Tallstar had achieved this with ease. Was this always meant to happen? Innerstar made a mistake when she told the clan that she would make Tallshadow her new deputy.

He would never choose Tallstar above Acorndust. He liked the tom way more than the foxdung who left the clan for dead basically. He hated the way he was acting, though. He never felt more angry at himself, maybe only when his dad passed away. When his dad left to go to StarClan- possibly even the Dark Forest, but he didn't want to think about that honestly. The moment when he saw the light being dimmed in his fathers eyes while he stared helplessly, knowing that his dad was dying. Even if his father wasn't nice to him, even when he was dying he was angry at him. He never received a praise from his dad, never heard something nice coming from his mouth unless it was about 'this sweet she-cat'. He was still his dad and he had depended so much on his dad. But, fine, the tom-cat was gone, forever. The other tom-cat smiled a little, which made him feel at least a little bit relieved. He was happy that the other tom was still able to smile, even if it was this little smile. "I hope he will come to regret it." The tom-cat said, to which he crinkled his nose. He wouldn't want to be under Tallstar's reign any longer. Even if Acorndust would tell him. "Psh." He said softly, while he rolled his eyes. If he was in charge, he would kill the tom on sight. "But there is no way he's going to be leader again." He blinked for a moment, before looking at the tom again and nodded. Good, so they were on the same page. He was happy about that, as he would be disheartened if the other tom was going to let the leader get back to his original place like nothing had happened. "Good, tha's good." He muttered softly, before falling silent and pointing his gaze to his paws. He didn't know what else to say, his anger was slowly ebbing away from his body. With every heartbeat the anger was disappearing from his body and he didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing. He rather thought the last thing. Because in a position as this he could say things he'd rather not say. He took a deep breath and glanced to the other tom. " 'm not the best talker." He started, twisting his ears a bit. "But ya 're goin' through a rough time." the tip of his tail softly flicked, because he was nervous. He had never really offered a listening ear or something like that, but this tom- This tom was his friend. He considered him as one at least. "If ya ever wanna... I dun' know. Rant, talk... I'll listen." He said, before slowly looking up to the older tom cat. Because he meant his words, he wasn't a sap, he wasn't weak and he almost never showed this side of him. "Jus'... so ya know." He said calmly, before taking another deep breath. " 'm not a gossiper either... so whatever ya say 's safe." He said, before swallowing around the knot in his throat.

Tallstar’s chance of being a leader at ShadowClan was over. Everyone knew that, hopefully. The leader couldn’t just disappear without telling the Clan why and how. He left them for dead in his eyes. Probably couldn’t handle the pressure anymore of being the leader and decided that it would be better to just leave the clan behind. Coward, that was what he was. He was a coward that deserved to be treated badly if he ever came back. He didn’t deserve the family that he had and he most certainly didn’t deserve the clan as he had treated them. The aloof leader that they had known had left the clan just like that. ”Thank you,” The tom-cat said when he offered him that he could talk to him. He handled a lot back in the day. He had a tough kittenhood, he could withstand everything now because he learned how to deal with it. ”The biggest problem is that I don’t know who to trust anymore.” The tom said and he nodded slowly at the words. Of course, there were some cats that had been very close to Tallstar, so he understood that it must be hard for him to see if they knew anything, if this was all a big plot, or if this was just... Tallstar being gone. ”And I have no idea whether Starclan will even accept me as Shadowclan’s leader while Tallstar is still alive somewhere carrying his multiple lives.” He nodded again, understanding the words that he had been saying to him. ”If StarClan can give ‘im lives, they should be able to take ‘em.” He started calmly to the bigger tom-cat. Starting calmly, even if he didn’t really know what other advice he could give to the other tom. He never had been in the same position as the tomcat. ”Deep in yer heart, ya know who ta trus’. Follow that.” He continued, looking straight at the tom. He meant it, his instincts should tell him enough about this right?