Final straw [EN]

The scarred feline had woken up panting heavily, a heavy and straining grip being put into her chest. It seemed to have grabbed her heart and squeezed it out like something was trying to get all of the blood drained from the veins. The dreams had come back again, though she hadn’t felt amazing to begin with the last few weeks. Things sometimes got hard very suddenly, the bad days in her life sneaking back to the current age and blurring out everything she tried to do. Anything from her small tasks to even talking got impossible. The fear it gave her was paralyzing. Others often called her strong when seeing her scars, guessing what she went through. And often she believed that as well. She felt strong, like the strength was comparable to a flame in her body. It was bright and hot, burning up widely when she needed to show her teeth. But fire needs oxygen to survive and the higher, the wilder the flame burned up the more it needed. Eventually all the air was gone, the flame started to die out. It wasn’t a fast and strong way to kill the flame, it felt the chocking, the cold surrounding it and leaving behind nothing else but that deep freezing feeling in her chest. The grey cat pushed herself up straight, still panting for air while walking out of the camp. She just started walking, walking until the problems solved themselves. Her flank was going up and down quickly, asking for air to keep that fire alive, but no matter how much it filled it stayed sunken in. The sadness had taken over her body in such a way it felt nothing else but that, leaving not even room for hunger or thirst. She felt no hunger, causing her to completely stop eating. This compared to her stress had made her lose weight quickly, making her a bony thin. It was always easy for her to do that and just as easy to fix. If someone would notice and act upon it that is. After a while of walking the cold blue night her paws had made their way to the gorge. Her blue eye peeked down into it, not feeling any fear seeing the thin silver stream break through the rocks. She was named after this place, as it had been a second birth to her. Here was where everything had started for Abysshowl, wouldn’t it be beautiful if this is where it ends? The young she-cat took a step forwards so she stood on the edge of the cliff, meeting it’s gaze like a familiar friend. And though she felt the strong need to jump, to fall again and never hit the floor, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. No one truly wanted to die, they just want the pain to stop. The fear of that truth made the young cat stand where she was, hoping that either starclan or another holy being would give her a gentle breeze. One strong enough to give that last push that would make the pain stop.

+ open c: either help or give a push